chatter matters

Parenting classes, parenting books, family vacations, family traditions, family outings. All good things to include in a healthy parent-child relationship. But according to a study by Wichita Sate researchers, the most important tool we can use as parents is: communication. Specifically, "The relationship you've established with your children when they start kindergarten helps determine their behavior by the time they finish fourth grade, according to a study by Wichita State researchers published in the September/October issue of the journal Child Development. . . . How you interact with your kindergarten children, by showing warmth and having good communication, serves as an important building block for knowing where your child is and with whom, or what he or she is doing outside the home, later in childhood, the study said."

So what does "good communication" look like?

* Talk to your kids often - spend some time every day talking about their day, their ups and downs. Dig around in their brains a little bit and try to find out something new about them.

*Show an interest in the things they get jazzed about - like their beanie baby collection or their highest GameBoy score.

*Be supportive and Listen - this is difficult for many busy moms and dads. However, parents who invest time in listening to their children when they are young earn the privilege to listen when they're teens. We have to build up trust in the formative years in order to reap the benefits later.

Our family was recently introduced to a great family game called, Chatter Matters (2000 Mattel). The object of the game is to get to know one another better by answering questions about family history, favorite movies, secret wishes, etc. The game incorporates the use of charades, scavenger hunts, verbal blitzes, and quick draw doodles. Although out of print, copies of Chatter Matters are available on e-bay for a very reasonable price.

Even though parenting through temper tantrums and sass-back flashes can be difficult during the elementary years, research proves that toughing it out by talking it out makes all the difference in a successful, long term relationship.


Links:

Early Good Parenting Increases Chances of Good Kids Later - http://www.ascribe.org/cgi-bin/behold.pl?ascribeid=20051007.144029&time=04%2000%20PDT&year=2005&public=1

Chatter Matters (Mattel, 2000) - http://www.shareholder.com/mattel/news/20001016-43158.cfm.

Link: http://www.ascribe.org/cgi-bin/behold.pl?ascribeid=20051007.144029&time=04%2000%20PDT&year=2005&public=1

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