Dangers of Retail Therapy
Last week I sprained my ankle for the first time. While shopping. In a downpour. While attempting to leap over a veritable channel of water cascading down the street gutter, I slipped in my sandal, thereby applying all my weight on a two-inch spread on my right foot, the poor thing. It hurt like the dickens, but my first response was to check for witnesses. Pride is an amazing antiseptic/bandage/pain killer all rolled into one. Ignoring the zingers racing up my shin, I hobbled into the gift shop and thanked God for saving me from a top to toe body sidewalk scraping.
The irony was that I was on a mission to buy a stuffed animal to take to my 2 1/2 year old nephew in the emergency room while he nursed a smooshed thumb. For a moment, I imagined myself sitting next to him in the ER, a pack of ice draped over my ankle, the plush puppy straddled between us.
I've not gotten a whole lotta sympathy from my athletic husband over this ordeal. He can barely see the swelling and claims the bluish hue seeping across the top is merely the reflection from my jeans. (my kids, on the other hand, have been pampering me like crazy, rubbing my foot, and basically catering to my every whim.). I was even slightly disappointed when the doctor ruled out the possibility of a broken bone yesterday.
All this to say, be careful out there, retail-therapy junkies. Don't cut back on too many carbs. In fact, I'm sure it was the extra pancake I had the night before for dinner that spared me from a full-blown tumble. I'm also happy to report that I finally understand the following phrases for the first time:
No Pain. No Gain.
Shop Til You Drop.
Ladies, it's a jungle out there. Shopping is serious business and don't let anyone (read: a man) tell you otherwise. Here are some helpful shopping tips that could save your life: (or at least your right foot)
1. Use the buddy system.
2. Know your terrain.
3. Always know your limits and when it is time to turn back or take a rest.
4. Always carry a few basic necessities in case you have to spend the night.
5. Always leave a detailed itinerary with someone.
6. Keep a positive mental attitude.
7. Stay hydrated.
Thankfully for me, there was a Starbucks just up the street.
Jenn, you are hilarious. Thanks for the laugh, and if I were there, I'd
wrap your ankle in ice, feed you chocolate and we'd read the Nordstrom
catalog together. :-) Happy recovering.
LOL Retail therapy is hard on the body! Give me a few hours online anyday.
Camy
Jenn, you are a funny gal. I so enjoyed seeing you at Mount Hermon and look
forward to your writing!
