Hearts at Home Conference
Well . . . my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. Taxi's waiting; he's blowing his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could cry. I'm leavin' on a jet plane--
Oops, wait a minute, that's an old John Denver/Peter, Paul, and Mary song. And I won't be lonesome because my sweet husband, Ben, is coming with me. Besides, we're driving our mini-van, not a taxi.
Tomorrow morning (6:11am to be exact) he and I are taking off to the Land of Lincoln. I'm honored to be speaking at the National Hearts at Home conference in Normal, Illinois. I'll be presenting two talks, "Finding JOY! in Motherhood" and "Velveteen Mommies."
And I'm a little nervous.
Why?
Because I'm an over-achieving, type A, control freak. Actually, make that a reformed, transformed control freak. God got a hold of my heart over 32 years ago and He's been working on my submission and trust issues all along. And He's been showing me I'm not alone in my neuroses. Turns out the following Biblical individuals had some self-doubt and fears that cropped up occasionally as well:
Moses. David. Gideon. Esther. Elijah. Jacob. Joseph. Peter. John. Thomas. Mary.
I think I relate the most with Peter this go-around. Do you know about Peter? He was one of Jesus' disciples, formerly a fisherman. The night Jesus approached Peter and the rest of the disciples in the middle of the night, in the middle of a storm, Peter was nervous.
And for good reason. Jesus was walking on the water while Peter and the rest trembled in fear in their boat. But when Peter recognized Jesus he called out to him, and said, "Lord if it is you, give me the order to come to you on the water."
And Jesus did. And Peter did. Totally cool.
But then Peter did what the rest of us would have done. He looked around and thought, "Uhm. Dude. This can't be happening." Okay, he probably didn't say "dude," but you get the gist. He looked away from God and focused on the wind, the waves, and the impossibility factor.
But now we come to my favorite part. The Bible says, "Immediately Jesus put out his hand and caught him. 'You of little faith,' he said, 'why did you doubt?'" (Matthew 14:31 NIV) It gives me great comfort to know Jesus didn't wait a second; he put out his hand immediately.
The fact is, Jesus has called me out of the safety of the boat. By taking this amazing opportunity to speak to over 1,000 women, I've officially stepped out of the boat. Unfortunately the waves of self-doubt are nipping at my heels. Thankfully I know all about Peter. I'm committed to keeping my eyes on Jesus, knowing he alone can keep me afloat.
I just need to do my best and let God do the rest.
So my bags are packed. I'm ready to go. And dude, I am so excited to see what God's gonna do!
